Yogi fallen in love - how I met my soulmate

A quote from the novel “Clown Girl” from Monica Drake in 2007 says

“If you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation.”

The moment Harsh saw me, he admired me. I didn’t notice him at first. We were sitting in the Yoga garden late at night and I played the Ukulele. I sang “Lokah Samastah” – Peace for all beings.

When he came next to me, sat down and asked me if he could sing something for me, he felt anxiety and agitation for sure. He had chosen to attract my attention in this beautiful way and now he was brave and just did it. He sang from his heart for me and his voice melted my heart. I have never heard anything more beautiful.

The night I gave him my number, I ran up the stairs to my room and checked my phone constantly, super excited and nervous, in case he messaged. When his message came, my heart jumped. I wanted to know more about this soul who sang so beautifully and full of emotions. Who was he and did he like me? Even though I knew I wanted to stay single and travel the world, I was so curious about this guy whose voice made me lose my mind. I wanted to know everything about him.

If I would have to write a quote about ‘the one’ I would say

There exists someone in this world who is somehow connected to you. It doesn’t matter if your legs shake or not. If you meet him at the right time, you just want to be with him. You will feel a feeling you never felt before with anyone. You just know, this person is someone special in your life.

There are many things we can not explain. Nature laws and quant physics. Somehow, we are all connected. Somehow, we all create our own reality. We can change our reality every day. My encounter with Harsh changed mine.

Many of us nowadays got our heart broken once or twice or even more times. We come to a point where we think we cannot or don’t ever want to love again. We just don’t want to feel this pain again. But where encounters happen, love can happen. I believe that all encounters happen for a reason. If you meet the perfect match it is in your hand to either be brave and risk to fail again, or to keep the wall around you and stay alone. If you risk it and try a partnership, it depends on you and your partner, if it will work this time or not.

If you feel sure that this person is worth it, you will take whatever it takes to make it work. If you both think that way, you will both work together to make it work. 

If you both make your decision to never give up and stand together, finding ways to deal with every situation, you will make it work. As long as you both want to. And keep on wanting to. That is the key.

For Harsh and me it took a beautiful time, till we both opened and declared our love to each other and decided that we want to make it work. He has Indian roots and I have German roots. We mix cultures. But we are just humans with feelings. With this opening of our hearts something beautiful binds us strongly. We can show each other our deepest selves, show each other different countries and perspectives and the more we get to know each other, the more and stronger our love and understanding grows.

In the Yoga Institute we learned that equanimity of the mind is the best state of mind in every situation. Instead of excitement and boredom, instead of happiness and sadness, instead of love or hatred we should just feel peace and equanimity. We should be content with what we have. I have been wondering a lot, if Yogis should better not have any relationships at all, because they are supposed to not love or hate but to take everything they get in life with equanimity (mental calmness). No likes and dislikes. Just a neutral attitude about what is. I still don’t have the answer, if true Yogis have to isolate themselves to avoid love and hatered, but in the end I think we should all love. Everyone should love. We are humans and we are made to love. Love gives people a purpose in life. I even think that we, humans, can not prevent to love. If we can not give our love to a person, we find some thing or a being to love. But no matter who or what we love and admire, we have to keep in mind that love with too much attachment and possessiveness brings pain. That is what the Yogis are trying to say, I guess.

I will try to love freely. Love him like  a Yogi. Like I would love a beautiful flower. When I love a flower, I don’t pick it and let it die in a vase. I let it be the way it is and admire its colors. I fall in love with it daily, just the way it is. I make sure it has enough water, sun and everything it needs. Give it support when it’s windy and shadow when the sun is burning.

It was not planned, that I fall in love. But that is how it always happens. It comes unexpectedly. You can not expect your life to happen the way you plan it. You can only embrace it. 

Rather than thinking ‘But I wanted to travel the world alone and now he came into my life and I am so attached’ I feel super grateful! Luckier than I could ever imagine. I get to share moments of my life with him from now on. We can travel the world together and share all those beautiful, special experiences. And I'm sure, we will even experience much more than that together.
I feel so lucky to face life with him now, no matter what it brings.

Yoga also teaches us that we should let all attachments go. Because all pleasurable things in life bring pain when we lose them. And we lose everything that we have at the latest when we die. When nothing is forever, every attachment leads to pain. All we are attached to will hurt us when we lose it. The more attached we are, the more pain we have when we lose what we love. That is why life is so pleasurable and painful all at once.

I was good at it as a traveler, letting go of places, people, possessions, everything. I liked to travel light. Just a backpack, no relationship and just myself and freedom. My only attachment before I came to the Yoga Institute was probably my attachment to independence and freedom, which is also an attachment. Some attachments will always stay. Maybe it is our nature as humans to have the one or the other. The less, the less painful.

Yoga teaches us to embrace life. Take it as it comes and be grateful. Everything happens for a reason. Also that Harsh came into my life. I consider myself very lucky that our ways crossed. I overcame my old attachment: Travelling alone.
Now I have a new attachment. It’s him.